greed
I'll admit it, I'm scared. Yes, it's a fairly common procedure, more common than I had previously thought. But that doesn't make it any less personal, any less nerve racking.
"and when affliction touches man, he calls on Us, whether lying on his side or sitting or standing; but when We remove his affliction from him, he passes on as though he had never called on Us on account of an affliction that touched him;"
A reminder that with every pain that comes through, every bad memory formed over your lifetime, you have to remind yourself that you had gone through it. To never forget where you had come from, and the paths you chose that lead you where you stand now. People make the same mistakes over and over again. Not because they're stupid. But because they choose to forget the actions that they take have a consequence not beneficial to themselves, to others.
"...whoever is saved from the greediness of his soul, these it is that are the successful."
More often than not, you're forced to make a choice you were afraid to make yourself. Tony recently had "the conversation" with his manager. It helped open his eyes to say that he's not happy with where he is, and he was contemplating moving to DC for a long while, but was unsure of how to take that step.
I was given a similar option just a few weeks ago, but I'm afraid to make that move for myself. Mainly because I crave stability and continuity, maybe my past has a large influence on this I'm not sure.
let's do that again!
Snuck onto the grand archway in grand army plaza. Such an awesome view! That's me with my three favorite guys (where's tony?!). Chill evening on friday with the crew with a marathon of Evil Dead - Bruce Campbell is the god of c- movies
Saturday was such a sweet day. Perfect NY weather. Brunch out in stone park...mmm oh it was good
ps1 - such good times
Amun Ra was a okay kinda band. Liked their sound a lot but sounded like a funky cross between bravery/white stripes and all those other alternative hipster brit pop bands. Not surprising. It's hard to find good and unique sound these days.
Sunday was relaxing - fun to play with the old school bee crew on the field. Badass frisbee girls
I gotta have more summer!
sun and surf
Past weekend camping was so great. Good to get out of NYC and just breathe
The trip overall was so well planned ... nothing beat sleeping on the beach two days in a row. Well, maybe one thing. But I guess this has to remain a PG blog right?
The frisbee boys are coming into town from Philly this weekend. woohoo! It'll be great to have most of the old crew back together
Had a long conversation with an old college friend about the differnet groups we all run in. It's so difficult to get two groups to meld together. Most ppl say they are open minded and open to meeting new people. But it seems as if it has to be on their terms. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm choosing a set of friends over another...it isn't fair to get excluded as well though. It feels like i'm cheating
Eh, I'll get my venting out with Tony this week.
overload
How the hell does anybody actually get work done in the span of a 9-5 day. If you have those days...god bless you
It is impossible to work a 9-5. I prove the impossible everyday.
They should outsource my job to Mumbai or something.
Wet Hot American Summer
That was one 'sweaty ass humid" night.
Really psyched for the beach camping trip this coming weekend...It'll be so great to escape from nyc for a bit. In dire need of some R&R.
the youngest of my giganto family .... I love these kids! And by the way...the humungo kid on the bottom. That's Josiah. He's only 7 months and 22lbs. Watermelons are lighter than that kid...but he's so damn cute.
No more grandkids in this family. He's the last one...count em 18 of us grandkids...grandpa can barely remember any of us as it is. We can't even keep track of us! It's so great growing in a big family...every cousin is like an extra sibling. Every aunt and uncle like an extra mom and dad but in a cool not in your face kinda way.
Game
Had an awesome time at D&S's hoemgrown party last night. Dawn and I made a wicked couple of trays of jello shots. Meet a lot of really chill folks. Funny how many times you find out how many degrees of seperation are actually there between people you know.
I have to re-evaluate how I play my game. I was so focused on whether or not he and I might ever have a chance. He won't make that first move, ever. Maybe I am just a real good friend to him. And it's a fact I should just suck up and accept.
Was just so distracted last night that I did meet a really great guy (yea his game was totally weird but it worked because he got my attention and this guy made a genuine show of interest)
I in turn ended up ignoring it 1) because I get just so damn shy! when I know a guy is interested 2) I am an idiot.
let's go Yankees...
Sweeeet...
Yankees vs White Sox last night. Free tickets.
Sweeeet...
Eureka!
Fun times at the UN - drinks with the girls on the team...we look smashing don't we?
Lesson 1 - don't join a firm/group for the people...join for the opportunity and the job that will get you somewhere (if that's what you aspire for you greedy corporate grunts) or if it really does satisfy what you want to do in the now.
Lesson 2 - you end up leaving the group because of the people you don't want to work with...or because the role/job you're doing is so significantly different (and not in a good way) from what was promised that it leaves you no incentive to what to do your best
I refuse to be worked into a corner...to be boxed up in a role that I know I can dominate without wasting a single brain cell...
For a bunch of folks that are supposed to be people persons and supposedly intuitive and smart...they don't seem to understand the basic principle of the 'carrot and stick' theory. If you're presented with an opportunity that just seems so damn great (wow that carrot looks good!)... it makes you want to bust your ass and work hard to get it
My backwards ass neanderthal group wants me to EXCEL! in my current little role before they 'think about' giving me more opportunity. Now i'm just thinking 'what the fuck kinda logic is that?!' Where's my incentive to bust my ass if I don't see something ahead of me.
I thought HR was about change...innovation and the chance to be really creative. Instead we're afraid to push the corporate button to actually do anything. Oh how idealistic and naive I am
So it's a race...let's find that next job that won't make me feel like my morals have been reduced to nothingness...
Who wants to move to Africa and build houses!?!?!
Let's go to the World Court and debate international law
Hell ...just help the poor lady with the baby carriage get in the subway...and get off your ass to give your seat to someone who really needs it.
spades
Everything happens in spades...
That's my grandma ... mom just told me she's in the hospital. Was checked in on sunday night...didn't want me to worry so tried to keep it from me so I wouldn't freak out. Well too late! She's in stable condition... they're running a couple of tests to see whether it might be her lungs or her stomach ... My poor grandpa... as he was going home from the hospital last night with my aunts and uncles... he stepped in crap! Uncle 3 yelled at Auntie 1 and Uncle 1 for letting him step in it...
This morning he tried to get away from the stay at home nurse to rescue my grandma from the hospital and bring her home.
Nearly all of my family's back on the east coast. It'll be great to see them all together once more. It's been so long since we've all been together as a family. I don't know that I'm strong enough to handle a death in the family. We've been fortunate for so long... blessed with so many happy babies ...it's life to have this happen. But that doesn't make it fair. I'm trying so hard to stay positive about things...but it's so damn hard! This just fucking sucks, it's all the worse not knowing what's wrong.
life can get pretty serious on you when you're not looking. Turn around and you find out you're an adult
